@4:14 AM
Friday (06/10/06)Initially I thought today was a lucky day for me as I woke up late for work I was about to take a cabby to work my dad came and drove me to work.Hehe...Manage to save up a few dollars.Just when I was about to go to kiddy spot,Yasin called me.Actually I don't wish to answer him but he say that I was action!!Damn it!!Didn't he used his brain?Or he doesn't even have one?He asked me to cover his shift on Saturday as he have to work for 7-11 and I don't mind helping him,so I cancel my date with my friends.After a while he called shikin and said that he thinks is not right that if he work for 7-11 and not kiddy spot since the roster was already out long ago.So to him is not right, can take back the shift.Then ask me to get lost!So to them I am just a spare tyre;command as you wish.What else can I say?I damn pissed off!!!After work I ask emily to go Yishun park to play candles as I want to go 7-11 see how he die...haha...Ask him to treat me mashed potato and we bought a alcoholic drink.I think is because I really have enough sleep so after drinking that I feel quite hot and sleep very soundly that night.
Saturday(07/10/06)Today I woke up late and stayed at home and burn disc till around 7plus in the evening.After that I met up with emily,the same old person again,to buy dinner for li fern and alcoholic drink again.This time round we went to kiddy spot for dinner follow by our "happy hour".I manage to finish up the drink in around 3-5 minutes.So I guess I was abit high but not drunk, I remember I kept disturbing Yasin,the factory worker,then he also disturb me back.But in the process I think I struggled alot as he used alot of strength to push me inside the play system.He wanted to lock me inside but I manage to free as I used a very powerful stroke which is tickle him.**cheeky smile**Then again when we were about to leave kiddy spot he pushed me in and wanted to lock me inside luckily li fern was there to pull me out.Or else I will be the one crying inside and he will be laughing outside.I wanted to trick him back so I hide his punch card behind mine then he started to twist my hand to ask me where is the card.It was really pain!!!I scream and scream and scream then he decided to let go when li fern shouted at him.He is not only a factory worker but also a baddy!!!I don't like and don't wish to play with him again.I know I can be quite playful and tomboy at times but he shouldn't twist my hand.BADDY I AM NOT GONNA TALK OR SMS U AGAIN!!!MOHAMMAD YASIN YOU ARE SO THICK-SKINNED,SOMEMORE TELL LI FERN THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME AT ALL.YOU THINK I LIKE YOU?OVER MY DEAD BODY....YOU ARE A OLD MAN..PLEASE BEAR THAT IN MIND!!IF YOU FORGET, I WILL BE WILLING TO HELP YOU REFRESH YOUR MEMORY!!
@1:29 AM
It had been almost a week after I broke off with my boyfriend.This ain't going smoothly at first when we broke up but now I am feeling much more better after keeping myself occupied with friends, tv shows and work!! The feeling of a broken heart will still be there whenever I am all alone as I will start to think whether my decision was right?
Why human beings will always tend to cherish and treasure you more when you are gone? Have they ever thought of the consequences?But is alright for me if I am not being cherish as I will always hope that you will straighten out your thought one day and change for the better.Anyway, what's done cannot be undone and I think is time that I should just let go.That's all for those moaning and unhappy stuffs.
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Actually I am suppose to pick up all the balls inside the playsystem but then shikin ask me to accompany her smoke outside so YASIN(MY PAPA) was asked to do the job instead.After everything at the counter was done and I pity my papa so I went in to help him.This was the starting of the fun part.We started to throw balls at each other and we ended up messing the place instead of tidying it.Then he really treated me as his maid ask me to do this and that but I am also stupid.Why I do it also?I also don't know...**smiles**.In short, today I had a fun time.Somemore that papa bluff me say he didn't bring helmet....But he did bring...I guess he was tired,as he fell asleep while waiting ouside the staff lounge to punch out.I really hope that this coming sat I can go JB with them again.It was really fun the previous time we went in but is just that yasin was in a foul mood.Don't feel like talking but I keep pestering him to talk to me.Luckily he didn't leave me at JB or else I can't see my dream guy anymore...
@3:58 AM
I don't know whether I should feel happy or sad?I get to go over to australia and I just need to pay for my expenses over there as my air ticket will be sponsor by my parents.But I had to apply leave from school for a week,which means that I will be missing one week of lessons.I am scared that I won't be able to cope.I don't wish to disappoint my sister so I agreed to go with her.I know that I will miss alot of people especially.....hehe....
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I am really puzzled by his(bf) decision,he told me that he still loves me but he don't wish to stay as friends at the moment as he thinks that I wish to break up with him.The whole concept of cooling down and being friends for the moment is hope that he could change for the better like treating me better and not taking me for granted.Now I really understand of taking your love ones for granted as someone is treating me this way!!!One think I am quite suprised is that I can still endure him for so long which means that he still holds an important position in my heart.I really hope that he could change for the sake of me and I think I would be the most happy person in the WORLD!! As for the other person who also holds quite an important places,I think it is quite impossible for us to be together due to lots of factors.But I think I still need time to get over this relationship before I could summon all my courage to tell you I LOVE YOU to you.Anyway best wishes to you.Hope that you are able to be with your deam girl. (:
@12:43 AM
Actually I have been thinking about our relationship, is it still possible for us to be together?As I am quite tired already;always been the one taking initiative.And your attitude towards me is not very good either.Today we had a good talk and we decided to take a break so that we can think carefully about our future path.I am quite suprised that we can solve this calmly.I really hope that you can start afresh even if we are seperated.
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If you can promised me to change for the better in future I am willing to give you another chance.As I have a feeling that it is really impossible for me to be with him and I am prepared to keep my feelings deep down in my heart.Best wishes to you!!
@2:11 AM
It has been a long time since I post anything. Now I am feeling quite down as I don't know how to sort out my feelings.Really.As I think it is quite tough to stop myself from thinking about my love life.Am I always gonna be the only one who is taking the initiative? I am really sick and tired of the whole routine love life I had. Whenever I think there are problems between us, I wish to settle it with you, you will always avoid it.Why? Is it really that difficult to face it? Or is our love not strong enough? Sometimes I really hope that everything just vanish in the air so that I can stop myself from thinking so much.But certain things are just meant to be there for us to solve, even if you want to avoid it.I know that I still love him alot, really alot.Somethings are not meant to be yours, thus, it is useless to have it anyway.
@2:10 PM
these few days I think i have not been myself as someone important to me left.she is gone forever.and i am kinda of not used to it because whenever i am down she will cheer me up.saying things like " there is alot more things in this world waiting for u to discover!! so cheer up!!What are you waiting for?" but after 12th may 06, this familiar voice is longer with me.But this in turn let me realise that there are more unfortunate people than me in this universe.Why should I be sulking here?I still have alot to learn, furthermore i still have my friends, love ones and my dearest dearest there for me when I need them or otherwise.I think my situation is not as bad as I think.HEHE!! smiles!!But deep down in my heart, I am really really still waiting for the day you can really understand what I have said to you is fact.And hope u can accept it and my apologises and move on.IS ALL OVER.......STOP THINKING THINKING.........
On Sat(13/05/06) is the anniversary of MR BRANDON TAN QING YUAN and me.Laughs.He is really a one kind guy who really makes me feel damn extreme as in I can feel very very happy on a particular day or the opposite.hehe.**smilies**Thus, deep down in my heart no matter how bad he did he treated me I will still endure.As I always believe that people will always change for the better.That's why I am waiting for this day to come!!!I know that god won't let me down....(:
@5:32 PM
I don't know what has happen to me these few days. I am not very contended but not sad. Just feel that my life is very empty. I will never forget what had happened to me yesterday at orchid country club. That was my second nightmare in my life which will forever engraved in my mind. Now then I realized that even though you are polite to others it doesn't mean that it will be appreciated. I promised I would endure no matter what is going to come next, as I need to save till I have enough money to go to Australia. I will always remind myself that this little setback is not going to be tough for me to overcome but is only a matter of time only. I will prove it to MR PHILLPS FROM ORCHID COUNTRY CLUB (RSSA). I swear that the next time u see me you will be the one who is being humiliated. I promised.
@4:11 PM
I am suffering now as I really don't know what I should do so as to make both of us feel happy during this relationship. You told me that I am selfish, always push the blame to you and many more. Thus, I told myself that I will change for the sake of you. But I don't know why you are still as moody as before. Can you please tell me what should I do so as to please you? I am always honest to you but in return you are still as angry as though I cheated you. Then I might as well don't let you know in the first place.
@4:25 AM
Dear.I am really sorry that logged into your msn and chat with your friend and I even lied to him that I knew his dream girl. It is rather a sad thing when your last hope turns out to be a lie. I sincerely apologise for my actions. When I was arguing with shane that time I was thinking whether she was doing her job or showing off her authority in front of me. I knew that she wanted to fired me I really do have a dream now. And it is to be a pilot after I finish my dipioma. But now then I finally know that ANDY LIM TZE KONG is not that annoying after all compared to SHANE WONG SHU FANG!!
@12:59 AM
After coming back from my kuantan trip, i learnt alot and i felt that my thinking towards certain stuff have become more muture than before.During the trip I made alot of friends and it also teaches me that some of the things are not meant to be yours even though your determination are strong.Some things are only meant to be memories and memories are always good to be kept deep down in your heart.
@1:33 AM
I am really very troubled indeed.I really don't know why I always have that feeling that you don't love me anymore.But you felt guilty that you let me dowm or what so ever reasons.I will not stop you from leaving me if you really have someone in mind.I promised I really won't.You are trying to avoid my calls and avoid from seeing me.Why is that so?Please be more manly, don't beat around the bushes.I know that you are not feeling quite well yesterday but then you should at least give me a call when are free.But you didn't, i did not even receive a single sms from you.I really hate that kind of neglected feeling.I HATE IT.I promised myself to lives strong even without you I have alot of good friends who is behind me; supporting me.I will not let them down.since you have already do until this extend.I will not bother to sms you or call you if u did not bother to look for me.Don't try to give any excuses already, I am sick and tired of all that.Everytime u promise me to change but in actual fact you are becoming worst and worst.If this goes on I will go crazy.I HATE LIARS alright!! Is no differences from a hypocrite.Please bare that in mind.If you happen to read this message, good for you.
@9:41 PM
Sigh....Another unhappy day again.Actually my class is intended to make a class T-shirt for everyone with their names printed on it.If that is so, everyone should print those names that we wanted to have on it and not that names that can recognise yourself easily.Take me as an example, people used to call me potato.So if i feel comfortable with this name i can get it to be printed on the shirt rite? But my so called "class rep" forbided me to do so..She IDIOT man.And her favourite pastimes is to force people to take up those unfinish job that she have left behind.I am also the target of hers and the victim as well. Sad for me rite?You think i am a person who will give in easily?!! NO WAY!!! I am say that i am still luck to have some good friends around me in school.So life isn't that bad also.I wish to be single now.As i am no difference from a single now.No dating at all.I won't be so stupid to keep myself bored, I intend to join some exciting cca which enables me to forget those unhappy things faster and pick up more happy memories fast too.hehe.that's all for today.
@7:08 PM
Actually today should be a happy day as I have done quite well in my common test.But there are some other factors around that influences my feelings.So I ended my day with a moody face.Haha.Ok lah, enough of my bullshits!!! *smiles + hehe*Yeah! today I am quite happy because a few of my good friends is like talking alot of bullshits things and it made my day filled so fun and crazily happy. Therefore I conclude that **BULLSHITS of the DAY is WONG HONGYUN!!!haha.ok la.actually she is quite a fun gal....loves talking alot of bullshits things and made everyone around her laugh.A kind gal indeed..full of enthusiasm...I hate ronald HO AN TENG because he is such a gigolo...spending gals money.If he say lend..he will NEVER return.That's all for today...may everyone wishes come true!! may POTATO ANG SER LING earn lots of money....muhahaha!!!
@2:42 PM
hi, long time didn't post anything already, feel so lost. I went to polytechnic everything went smoothly and the life in there is fun and exciting my personal relationship is in a mess now as we are not in the same institutions and we can't talk things out and often ended up quarrelling hate this!But what can I do??He does not wish to change his bad habit and I,myself, have did a lot of changes but too bad he does not appreciate it.If he still do not wish to change the way he behave and still have the stupid mindset that I kept on picked on him and think that he is useless,I may just leave him quietly.I don't know whether that this day will come, if it do, blame it on himself.
@3:55 PM
Guess what. I failed my English again it because I didn't work hard enough or it is just impossible to pass?
My good friend told me that if I stay persistence and work hard enough the end I will definitely pass my English during my 'o' levels knew that all those words is just for me to feel better,that's all.I won't blame her even though all those things she said was not true.But after all,it still depends on my hard work and my effort to pass. In order not to let my love ones down,I decided to work extremely hard to get what I want.
Indeed it is true that everyone should have a dream so that they can work towards it.Living in this dynamic world we must be realistic.So DREAMING IS IMPOSSIBLE for ones to achieve their goal as action is needed greatly. (:
@1:39 AM
hi buddy..
It is so boring now because i am at a chalet with nothing to play with and all i have with me is a computer with internet excess.But luckily i have a very good and loving boyfriend by my side and with him around i know that he will definitely make miracle happen.Thus, i will have no regrets for coming to this chalet.And the most important thing i want to emphasis is that i have a bunch of "wild" friends with me,and the most humourous one is called monster and they really make my life filled with excitement.Sorry, i forgotten to add this, which is Alan Sir.He is a nice guy with an excellent cooking skill but he can be very lame and funny sometimes and this makes him so lovely and caring.Love you all my friends!!!!! :)
bye!!!!!!nite....love u always...
With love,
Red potato
@7:40 PM
hi buddy...
This week is a great week for me as i heard from my English teacher that passed my english and she was very happy for me.But i myself thought that it was just plain lucky or just a miracle.When i said that she was very angry as she said that why can't i be more optimistic.People tend to say all those optimise thing because they hope that are able to feel better this way.But on the other hand i am unable to think this way because i am too tired for all those thinkings.Because i had once put in all my effort to get good grades but luck was just not on side.Thus, i decided to be a happy-go-lucky person so as not to be too stressed up.Once i know that i have did my part as a student then i would not feel bad when i get back the results.Now is coming to the end of term two,and i finally passed my english,so my hard works does pay off in the end.
bye budd.....
@6:30 PM
hi buddy..
It have been sometime since I have posted something. Have you ever been betrayed by your bestfriend? The feeling is unbearable right. I think I have exaggerated the situation. Actually is not betrayed is purely don't understand. I think the most important thing in this world is FRIENDS!!! Without friends you can barely do anything. Is there a possibility that we human beings won't be greedy in such a way that we can give up either our friends or our love ones? I can firmly say the answer is no. As we always believe that we have the ability to balance up the time we spent with our love ones and our friends. I am a very good example of all these things. As I don't want the relationship of my boyfriend and me to deteriorate, so I decided to spend most of my time with him.But my bestfriend just simply don't understand that,they just think that I am too concentrated in the relationship.And they bet within themselves that we surely won't last long one. Whenever I am being reminded by all these 'bullshit' thing, my temper will start to change. As in I will start to scold anyone who passed by me and had did nothing wrong. Buddy. What am I suppose to do now? I don't wish to let all these unhappy things to get me down. :/
bye bye botato!!!!
@12:37 AM
doll is making it happening!!
testing !!!
@5:11 PM
Tuesday,24/02/2004
hey buddy..
Today is not a fine day for me as things aren't going my way.I hate the way i am because it made all the people beside me to feel sad and helpless.But certain things is meant to be the way it is,just like my temper.Today my so called "sixth sense" came back and i began to analyse alot of stupid things which ended up making me very stress and unhappy.I know very clearly that i love him more than he loves me so i started to draw conclusion that he don't love me at all.Then i started to give him a cold shoulder but then i know i shouldn't have done that.Now i really regretted what i have done to him because he is really a nice guy.That's why people everytime say that we like to do things which will made us regret eventually.But then sometimes he is really overboard as he would never take the initiative.Don't tell or give me all those lame excuses like "this is his first time" or "nowadays gals are more open-minded" so is fine,just bear with him a little while and it would be fine.whenever he show me his stupid face,i will forget the anger inside me.I think i have asked too much from him already.He is going to burst soon. :/
love him always!!!!
bye chachabotato....